


Storm in a Bottle

by gremble



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: (another one), (what am i doing with my life), Alternate Point of View, F/M, I don't even know how to tag this, M/M, Other, Remix, Trans Female Character, because I want to get out of this fandom not get in deeper, but I really enjoyed this story so here we are!, it's not a full fic, just a 9k-word summary of a fic that I am not going to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gremble/pseuds/gremble
Summary: "We're witchers, Gweld. None of us are strangers to not getting the life we may have wanted."The thirty-year courtship of Gweld and Serrit.
Relationships: Gweld/Serrit (The Witcher)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 268
Collections: Inspired by inexplicific Accidental Warlord AU





	Storm in a Bottle

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [As the Unchanging, Many-Colored Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26331232) by [inexplicifics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexplicifics/pseuds/inexplicifics). 



> Alternate title could be "Oops, I Did It Again," because after reading inexplicifics' ["As the Unchanging, Many-Colored Sea"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26331232) I went, "Huh, I wonder what that looked like from Gweld's POV" and -- _gestures around self._ (Though this doesn't stick as closely to inex's fic as "For the Asking" does.)
> 
> This story runs headlong into the issue of how to deal with pronouns for a trans character before they have any inkling of what they're dealing with, before they've accepted that this is the identity they want, before they take steps to start presenting/being perceived socially as their target gender. 
> 
> And I _really do get_ why these past-tense, pre-transition pronouns are important—to underscore the fundamental lack of _change_ that happens when people recognize their transgender identity. It's not that “he” “decided” to “become” a “she”; it's that she was _she_ all along, even if it took her many years to realize that.
> 
> But in this case, for someone who (A) doesn't realize they're trans, or (B) has perhaps realized they'd rather be the opposite gender, but doesn't think it's possible to change and isn't even considering the idea, and (C) is still presenting, operating socially, and self-identifying as their birth gender, it just made more sense to use their birth gender as a shorthand, regardless of how inaccurate it may turn out to be later in life. It is in no way meant to undermine or invalidate their ultimate identity, it's merely a reflection of how they conceptualized themselves at an earlier point in their life.
> 
> That said, I also think it's extremely telling that about halfway through writing this fic summary—even though it's theoretically from Gweld's POV, and he doesn't find out until the end—I started sliding around between male and female pronouns for Serrit. _(Long_ before her physical transformation.) It just felt natural; that she'd spent the first two-thirds of her life trying to keep all that under lock and key, and as soon as she stopped trying to throttle it so rigorously, her true self came through so loud and so clear.
> 
> tl;dr mapping the human experience onto words is complicated sometimes.
> 
> Also, I picture Gweld looking like a buff version of Hozier. You're welcome.

Gweld's first reaction to meeting Serrit is bemusement—that he takes down a barghest, and an hour later a Viper shows up spitting mad at having just missed out on it, getting up in his face. Then Serrit throws a punch, which Gweld is willing to roll with—he's not offended, can sympathize with that frustration, so he's willing to let the dude get it out of his system—but Gweld's bigger, he has the advantage in the fight if he can get Serrit on the ground, so he knocks them over to grappling in the dirt. Then the next thing he knows, Serrit's actually getting turned _on_ by all the grabbing and grinding, which Gweld is _also_ willing to roll with—he doesn't get laid so often that he can afford to miss a trick—and kisses him, even though he's halfway expecting to get knifed for it. (Just because a dude _wants_ to fuck another dude doesn't necessarily mean he wants to _admit_ that he wants it.)

(And I have a theory that Gweld was at a nadir in his life when he met Serrit—that he was tired, and burned-out, with nothing that made life worth living—and taking up with stabby, stabby Serrit was just one example among many of passively suicidal behaviors that he'd been engaging in.

 _Who the fuck falls asleep next to a Viper?_ Someone who doesn't really care whether they wake up again.

Serrit certainly makes life excitingly unpredictable, anyway.)

To his surprise, Serrit doesn't flinch or make even a token objection, just ups the ante and kisses him back even harder. There's some fumbling to get pants open, and Gweld is honestly expecting them just to rub one out on each other, humping and handjobs. But to his _even more_ surprise, Serrit (without saying a word, because they are doing this but they are _not talking_ about it) rolls over and offers his ass instead.

Gweld is like, _!?!_ Because _ngh,_ he's blindingly hard at the thought of getting to sink his dick into that, but there's also a clenched-jaw tension in Serrit as he waits for it and Gweld can plainly see that _he has never done this before,_ and what the FUCK, why the HELL is this dude initiating this, _here, now, for the first time,_ rolling around in the dirt with a Wolf that he met five minutes ago, and two minutes ago was making a spirited attempt to beat the shit out of??

And Gweld would _really really_ like to put the brakes on for a moment and touch base with Serrit, but he can also tell that Serrit is on the verge of _bolting,_ and that if he tries to make him talk about it, make him say out loud what he wants, then he is going to take off and Gweld is never going to see him again.

The best he can do is manage to shift them from the dirt to his bedroll, and grab some oil. Serrit, impatient, is like “Just spit and be done” and Gweld is like, “Yeah no, I don't enjoy dick-chafing”; what he really means is that he's not going to let Serrit's first time happen like that, but it's clear that Serrit would object to anything that sounds like coddling, so Gweld has to frame it as being for his own sake. (And that turns out to be a pattern in their relationship.) As far as prep goes, Serrit doesn't let him—bats away his hands and growls, Just FUCK me already—so the best Gweld can do is go in _slow,_ ignoring Serrit swearing at him to hurry up. And despite Serrit's best efforts, Gweld is _good_ at this—it doesn't take long, but it is scorchingly hot and they both get slammed with super-intense orgasms.

Serrit in particular—it's been a long time for Gweld, but it's the _first_ time for Serrit, and he had not been expecting _anything_ like that. He hadn't actually been expecting to enjoy it—he figured he'd try it, check it off the list, and then he'd know he's not missing out on anything. But then it's one of the most intense experiences of his life, and he's coming down from orgasm shaking and staggered by it, almost vulnerable in his complete shock, which really touches Gweld. Gweld pulls out, pulls both their pants back up, and then nuzzles his lips against the back of Serrit's neck while they both catch their breath.

\--And then wakes up to find that Serrit stole the barghest head and stole his horse and took off. It's the horse that alarms him the most, because he's very fond of her, but he knows where Serrit is going (to turn in the bounty), so he takes off after him. By the time he arrives at the town, he is tired and irritated and ready to give Serrit a piece of his mind if he catches him—so it's lucky that there's his horse cheerfully installed in the stables, and the innkeeper readily volunteers that there's another witcher staying in a room upstairs.

Gweld goes straight into the room without knocking, finds Serrit in the process of re-braiding his hair, looking unsurprised to see Gweld again.

Gweld: YOU, are a _BITCH._

Serrit: ........... :)

It's the first time he's seen Serrit smile, and it's kind of a feral, anticipatory thing.

Serrit: Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?

Which is when Gweld realizes _Oh, so_ _**that's** _ _what this is._ Serrit did the one thing that would _guarantee_ that Gweld would come after him. So Gweld shoves him up against a wall and they are instantly back to making out, and stumble over to bed and wind up fucking so hard they nearly break it. (And, proving that Serrit had 100% intended for this to happen, he already had lube ready that he slaps right into Gweld's hand.)

Gweld tries to get more clothes off him this time (since they're not fucking in the open forest) but Serrit once again just makes him hurry the fuck up and not bother with that. Gweld tries to give him a reach-around, but Serrit irritably swats his hand away and does it himself.

And when it's done, Gweld's ready to fall asleep again.

Serrit: [pokes him ungently] Hey.

Gweld: Mm.

Serrit: Get out of my room.

Gweld: No. You stole my bounty, the least you can do is put me up for the night.

Serrit: … >:|

[Serrit gets up and starts shuffling around the room, and Gweld realizes he's gathering up his stuff.]

Gweld: You're leaving?

Serrit: [giving him a look like he's explaining something to an idiot] I'm not falling asleep with you.

Gweld: Why not? _You're_ the one who robs people in their sleep.

[Serrit doesn't dignify that with a reply, just shoulders his bag and heads toward the door.]

Gweld: Hey wait—

[Serrit waits.]

Gweld: What's your name?

Serrit: Serrit.

Gweld: I'm Gweld.

Serrit: I didn't ask.

[Luckily for Serrit, Gweld finds his rudeness terribly charming.]

Gweld: A pleasure to meet you, Serrit. :) Though if I could ask one thing of you—please don't steal my horse again. I'm very fond of her, and it gave me a bad moment when I thought I'd lost her.

Serrit: Hmph. [leaves]

...But when Gweld comes out the next morning, Serrit's gone and the horse is still there, so.

*

And even though each time _seems_ like a coincidence, the fact that Gweld proceeds to run into Serrit about twice a year from that point on, when he'd gone the past fifty without meeting him even _once,_ it's pretty obviously not. Moreover, in the beginning it wasn't Gweld who was making an effort for their paths to cross—this is something _Serrit's_ seeking out, even though he's as standoffish as a cat about refusing to acknowledge that he's doing this because he wants to.

Like, pretty early on in their relationship, Gweld arrives in a town and is talking with the innkeeper, who's squinting at him like he's trying to figure something out.

Innkeeper: There was someone came through a few weeks back asking after a witcher. I think they mighta been looking for you.

Gweld: Me? (???)

Innkeeper: Said you'd be tall, red-haired, with a wolf medallion.

Gweld: …Yes, that does sound like it could only have been me. Who was doing the asking? [he is still bewildered]

Innkeeper: Another witcher. Necklace like yours, dark and lean.

[Gweld takes “like yours” to mean another Wolf, and he's like, ??? Lambert?? Except 'lean' isn't really a word for _any_ of the wolves]

Innkeeper: Had dark hair in a braid?

Gweld: OHHH. Okay.

[so by 'like yours,' the dude didn't pay close enough attention to realize there are different medallions]

Innkeeper: Friend of yours?

Gweld: [privately amused because, _Serrit would say no]_ Sure. You know which way he was headed?

[And Gweld catches up with him and they fall into bed. And because he's pleased that Serrit was looking for him, he can't resist teasing--]

Gweld: So I heard you were asking after me. ;D

Serrit: … >:|

*

One of Serrit's defining characteristics, in fact, is that he never ever _asks_ for anything, or verbalizes what he wants. He just shows up expectantly, and then either Gweld initiates, or Serrit gets impatient with Gweld for taking too long and climbs into his lap.

But conversely, he's not the slightest bit shy about saying No to things he doesn't want—without apology, explanation, or any emotion beyond “vaguely irritated,” he just says No and that's the end of it. The list of things he says No to is long and idiosyncratic—and Gweld's willing to oblige him in all things, respectful of the boundaries Serrit sets without demanding explanations, he's just _baffled_ at what goes on the No list and what's on the Okay list.

THINGS SERRIT SAYS NO TO (AN INCOMPLETE LIST)

Being naked – at first Gweld had thought maybe he had scars or some other disfigurement that he wanted to keep covered, but by now he's seen all of Serrit at one time or another. Serrit will take his pants and smallclothes off (grudgingly, Gweld thinks—if there was a way to have sex fully clothed, he would), and sometimes Gweld's gotten his shirt open when they're making out beforehand, but if the pants come off, the shirt goes back on, and vice versa. Maybe it's some instinct that doesn't like being completely bare, in case they're unexpectedly attacked. Or maybe he doesn't trust Gweld. Who knows.

Having his dick touched/sucked – he'll let Gweld grope him through pants, but Gweld's hand, on Serrit's bare dick, is a no-go. He bats him away every time he reaches for it. Maybe he finds Gweld's hands too rough? Though it's not like his own are any softer—they're witchers, ffs, and they've both got the calluses to show for it.

Or when Gweld, drunk on lust and working way down Serrit's chest, murmured, “I want to suck your cock,” Serrit just said, “No” and pulled him back up for kissing instead. That one actually took Gweld a few tries to get, to realize that Serrit didn't mean 'that's not what I want right now,' he meant 'I don't want that EVER.' Which, what?? Who doesn't like having their dick sucked?? Serrit, apparently.

Sleeping together – even though _come on,_ if either of them is going to rob and/or stab the other while they sleep, it's _clearly_ Serrit. The closest they've come is Serrit sleeping in his own bedroll on the other side of a fire, since it was already quite late and it would have been ridiculous for him to go set up his own camp a hundred yards away.

Switching who tops and who bottoms – Nope. Next.

  
  


THINGS SERRIT INEXPLICABLY _DOESN'T_ SAY NO TO

 _All of the above,_ when applied to Gweld instead – Serrit doesn't hesitate to put his hands on Gweld's dick. He's clearly never given a blowjob before, but takes to it with enthusiasm. (Though Gweld's brothers would tell him that he is an _absolute_ _lunatic_ for letting a _Viper_ put their teeth around his dick.) And Serrit is very, very eager to see Gweld naked. It's about the only thing that will make him briefly slow the fuck down—if Gweld strips fully naked before getting into bed, Serrit will take a moment to just _stare,_ eyes roving all over Gweld's body like he's drinking in the sight of him, eager and hungry for him. It's extremely gratifying.

(That said, Gweld is not allowed to bring _attention_ to the fact that Serrit likes any of these things. It earns him a scowl, if he's lucky, and taking care of his boner by himself if he's not.)

Pet names and compliments – which surprised the hell out of Gweld, because the first time a 'sweetheart' slipped out of his mouth in the heat of the moment, he fully expected to get stabbed. But Serrit just gave a shuddery little breath and didn't comment on it, and Gweld's cautiously gotten bolder since then, to Serrit's continued lack of acknowledgment or objection. He thinks Serrit may even _like_ being called beautiful when they're fucking. The exception to this is possessives—one time when Gweld was immersed in kissing his way down Serrit's neck and called him _my lovely little viper,_ Serrit absently said, “Not yours”--but didn't comment on 'lovely' or 'little,' which. Alright then.

(It's not like Serrit is actually _little,_ he's just smaller than a Wolf witcher, as most people are. It's just that in Gweld's experience, men are touchy about that having that pointed out—and unless they're a perfumed dandy, don't appreciate being called little _or_ lovely. Except for Serrit—hard and wiry and deadly—who somehow doesn't mind.)

Letting Gweld take his hair down – and touch it, and stroke it, and bury his face in it. Serrit really does have lovely hair, Gweld can't be blamed for saying so. It's not that common for Witchers to have long hair, but he usually keeps it tied back (which is more than can be said for _Geralt,_ whose hair is just as long but he flings it around and doesn't have any idea how to keep it clean or free of tangles.)

*

Some ideas for scenes:

*

One time when Gweld (who I've decided is just insta-sleep after orgasms, it's almost a joke how fast he conks out afterward) wakes up to find Serrit still there, evidently sketching him in his sleep. He asks to see; Serrit considers it, then hands over the booklet. And yeah, Serrit _likes_ his body—seen through Serrit's eyes, he looks like a god in repose. Serrit hasn't gotten around to filling in the scars yet, so he's just muscles and unblemished skin and his face looking chiseled and handsome in sleep.

Gweld: ...That is a very flattering picture of me.

Serrit: [shrugs]

Gweld: Can I look at the rest?

Serrit: [shrugs]

Serrit's sketchbook is about half monster diagrams and illustrations (practical) and half people (obviously recreational). They appear to be random people that Serrit met on his travels, snapshots—a barmaid balancing a tray, kids chasing chickens, etc—mixed with a few that are more like portraits, where the personality of the subject comes through. And Gweld himself turns up rather a lot—one that looks like he's sitting at a campfire, arms resting on his knees and laughing; more of him being naked; one of him fighting, sword out midswing, that probably came from the time they took down something together. But it's surprising that most of Serrit's subjects are women (surprising, because as far as Gweld can tell, Serrit has zero interest in women), and that Gweld is the only person who appears more than once.

Gweld: [passes it back, teases:] So where's the sketchbook with all your _other_ lovers?

Serrit: [shrugs, unconcerned] The only person I fuck is you.

Gweld: [blinks. Then realizes that he was Serrit's first, which means—] Ever??

Serrit: [a bit defensive at this line of questioning] I've tried it with women before.

And Gweld isn't a creep who fetishizes virginity or whatever, but _fuck_ if that isn't hot—that he really is the only man who's ever laid hands on Serrit. It's definitely arousing, so he rolls over and straddles Serrit, slides a hand between his thighs and starts to rub at where he fucked him earlier, and the evidence of that.

Gweld: So you're saying I'm the _only_ one who's ever gotten to fuck you?

[Now that it's tipping into sexy talk, Serrit isn't self-conscious about it anymore]

Serrit: Just you. The only cock I've ever taken is yours.

[And they go for a round 2]

*

Though Serrit does wind up sleeping with one of the Viper witchers, when they're all in their hold over the winter, more out of a desire for more data points than desire itself. It is wholly unsatisfactory, because the dude has not spent years being trained up to Serrit's exacting and idiosyncratic standards, so he winds up stepping on a lot of Serrit's No buttons, and without Gweld's extensive trial-and-error, has no idea what Serrit _does_ like instead.

And Serrit knows that Gweld has gotten a kick out of being his one-and-only, but he's not going to lie about it, or let that misconception stand, so after the next time they meet and fall into bed, Serrit tells him.

Serrit: I fucked someone else over the winter.

[Gweld had been falling asleep, but that boots him awake again. Serrit's tone is matter-of-fact, but he's a bit tense saying it, like he's bracing for Gweld's reaction. Gweld isn't entirely sure why he's telling him this—except that it is a tacit acknowledgment that what they have is a relationship where Gweld has the right to know about other people that Serrit fucks.]

Gweld: Well, winters do get really boring.

[Winter means it was probably another Viper witcher, he thinks. He wonders who.]

Serrit: [still matter-of-fact] I didn't enjoy it.

Which makes Gweld freeze, because 'didn't enjoy it'--what does that mean? Did someone force him into it? Hurt him? Or—

And then he makes himself check that line of thought, because this is _Serrit,_ for fuck's sake, he can take care of himself and does not suffer Shit He Does Not Enjoy.

Gweld: [deliberately mild] And did he survive your displeasure?

Which makes Serrit laugh, and relax against him again, so apparently that was the right answer.

Serrit: I'm a _viper,_ not a mantis. [pauses for a moment, then admits:] He didn't do anything wrong. It just wasn't very good.

Gweld: [pained] Serrit... at the risk of damaging my own chances here—you know you'll have better sex if you can bring yourself to _talk_ to your partners, right? Tell them what you want, so that they can give it to you, instead of expecting them to read your mind.

Serrit: [does not appreciate having this pointed out] >:|

Serrit: ...sounds fake.

[Which is still Serrit refusing to change, but making a joke out of it lightens the mood]

Gweld: ...Or you can just keep coming to me whenever you've got an itch that needs scratching. That works too.

And they don't talk about it again, but Serrit also doesn't bother trying to fuck anyone else.

(Although I feel like Gweld does? His desires/needs are more conventional than Serrit's, I think it's likely that he'd fuck prostitutes occasionally, and other Wolves over the winter.)

*

And for all that Serrit continues to play it off like they just run into each other and fuck sometimes and he has no interest in Gweld beyond that, there are a couple moments when he is unmistakably stepping outside of his comfort zone to do something that Gweld has been wanting.

Like when Gweld runs into him in some town—let's say it's a festival time—and Serrit's a bit drunk already and so he's looser and less guarded about showing his pleasure at seeing Gweld.

(He's also picked up the habit of wearing kohl on his eyes— “They do it in the south. They say it helps with the sun, but I think they just like the way it looks”--and his mouth is red from the wine and he is relaxed and _remarkably_ pretty.)

So they go back to his room and are rolling around in bed, haven't gotten around to taking their clothes off yet, and Serrit's being more indulgent about letting Gweld kiss him instead of rushing straight to the sex, and then as Gweld's kissing down his chest, Serrit's like—

Serrit: You can suck me if you want to.

Gweld: …?!? Really??

Serrit: [shrugs] If you want to.

Gweld: _I want to._

He starts taking Serrit's pants off, with Serrit obligingly shifting to help with.

Serrit: Don't use your hands. Just your mouth.

[Which, by this point, Gweld is so used to Serrit's weirdnesses that he's just like, Aight, and doesn't even wonder about it.]

Gweld: Can I use my hands elsewhere?

Serrit: Like where?

Gweld: [runs his hands up and down the inside Serrit's thighs] Here?

Serrit: Yes

Gweld: [moves them up to the join of his hips]

Serrit: Yes

Gweld: [slides hand down between Serrit's legs, palm cupping his balls]

Serrit: No

Gweld: [slides it further back, to rub at his hole] How about here?

Serrit: [sucks in a gasp] _Yes._

So Gweld winds up fingering him and dutifully using only his mouth—teases a lot before getting down to it, and refuses to be rushed even when Serrit bitches at him to hurry up. Because (1) he is trying to make a strong case for being allowed to do this again and (2) if this is the only time Serrit lets him do it, then he wants to make it last and enjoy every moment of it, and he tells Serrit exactly that.

And his hard work pays off because Serrit comes like a _freight train_ and then lies there panting afterward with the same kind of _holy-shit-I-can't-believe-it-felt-that-good_ shock that he had after the first time Gweld fucked him.

Gweld: [very pleased with himself] Soooo, any chance you'll let me do that again sometime?

Serrit: ........... maybe. >_>

[Gweld then tries to kiss him, but Serrit grimaces, shoves him away with a hand over his face, and tells him to go wash his mouth. (Even though, _what,_ it's not like Serrit gets precious about having _Gweld's_ cum in his mouth.) Gweld is still choosing to consider this a victory.]

*

Unfortunately, the attempt at full nudity is not as successful. They're rolling around in bed, Gweld is naked and Serrit's pants are off, and without comment he proceeds to strip his shirt off too, so they're both fully nude.

And Gweld is like, !!! but knows better than to remark on it, so he just puts his efforts into making it _good,_ and demonstrate his appreciation. He thinks that Serrit's unwillingness to get naked has to do with not liking his body (which is not wrong, but is wildly incomplete) so he tries to help by showing how much _he_ likes and appreciates it, lavishing affection and attention on Serrit's body, and it **just. doesn't. work.**

As it goes on, Serrit is _not_ relaxing into it; and he doesn't call a halt but he just keeps getting increasingly tense and unresponsive, until he's rigid almost to shaking in Gweld's arms, and finally Gweld is the one who puts the brakes on.

Gweld: Serrit?

[Which breaks whatever spell had been keeping Serrit still]

Serrit: [sucking in a breath] I can't do this.

He throws off Gweld's arm and the covers and climbs out of bed, and immediately starts getting dressed again, fixedly not looking at Gweld. And Gweld has no idea what he should say here, because Serrit never, ever wants to _talk_ about the things he doesn't like, or have attention drawn to the ways he's weird, but—

But then he realizes Serrit is _leaving_ -leaving, and it makes him panic, that this broke something permanently and if Serrit walks out that door, Gweld is never going to see him again.

Gweld: Wait!

Serrit pauses, still not looking at him, but does hold still and lets Gweld come up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders.

Gweld: I'm sorry. I thought—I thought if I could just show you how much I like your body, then you could learn to like it too...

[Which triggers a surge of INSTA-RAGE from Serrit, who's thinking, _FUCK YOU, you know_ _**nothing--** _]

Serrit: [on the verge of throwing him off and just fucking _leaving_ ] Not everything's about you.

Gweld: [kisses her shoulder] I know. It was stupid of me. And now I know—next time, the clothes stay on.

[I know, I just pronoun-shifted there; it was the pronoun I felt in my heart for that particular moment, even though Serrit himself isn't thinking in those terms yet]

There's a long pause where they're balanced on a knife's edge, and then Serrit lets out a deep breath. “Next time,” he agrees. He turns and meets Gweld's eyes, and they have a very fraught moment of silence, that neither of them knows what to say but it doesn't seem right to just walk out without a word, and Serrit is showing more emotion, more visibly distressed than Gweld has ever seen him. Then Serrit steps forward and takes Gweld's face and kisses him, not with lust, but very carefully, with a dam of pent-up feeling behind it—which happens to be the first time that he's kissed Gweld goodbye.

*

And when they get together again, they don't talk about it.

*

Then one winter Gweld goes home and Geralt hits 'em with his crazy idea. Gweld is all in favor, he doesn't need any convincing—there are some humans he would have liked to rid the world of sooner, but he knew he couldn't do that without putting every other witcher at risk, against their will. But if they have solidarity in this...

Then the rest of the schools get invited to Kaer Morhen to come discuss it, and Gweld perks up with the hope that Serrit will be coming too. It's really quite cute, because this is his home and he wants to show it to Serrit, and he's excited and hopeful at the prospect of having both of them in the same place for a month or more (at this point he has no idea that it's going to be a permanent move), not just spending an isolated evening together twice a year.

Serrit does come with the Vipers—but it turns out that Serrit's bonds with her (idek, I'm just going swerve around between pronouns now) Viper brothers don't mesh well with shagging a Wolf on the regular. They don't like Gweld, they don't trust him, they would cheerfully slit his throat and toss him down a privy if only Serrit would let them.

When Serrit first arrives, the schools are mostly sticking together, so they notice each other's presence at dinner or whatever, but don't run into each other outside of that, and Serrit doesn't seek him out. Finally Gweld decides to make the first move (he's a little surprised that Serrit didn't try to initiate, but then again, Serrit doesn't like to ask for the things he wants) and ventures into the Viper wing, trying to sniff around and figure out which is his room.

...Where he promptly runs into a different Viper who is _extremely_ hostile to a Wolf in their territory.

(I imagine this eased up after a decade or so, but initially the schools were _very_ insular and mistrustful of each other.)

Viper: What the fuck are you doing here.

Gweld: [guardedly] Looking for Serrit.

Viper: Why.

Gweld: I don't see how that's any of your fucking business, eh?

[I see Gweld as being, in the regular course of things, an extremely chill dude, but something about the Vipers getting up in his business with Serrit just puts his hackles up, and he doesn't hesitate to be an asshole right back at them. Which might just be the ability to read a room? Since it's not like being conciliatory is going to earn him any favor with the Vipers; he's better off just showing that he can hold his own.]

Tensions are building and neither side is interested in backing down, and it probably would have turned into a fist fight if Serrit hadn't chosen that moment to stick her head out the door to see what was going on.

Serrit: Oh. [subtext: it's you.] What are you doing here?

Gweld: [holds up the bottle of nice wine he brought as a bribe/excuse/social lubricant] Fancy a drink?

Serrit: Hm. Okay.

The other Viper is still bristling at this, but Serrit waves him off with an “It's alright, he's fine” (re: Gweld). Not as enthusiastic a welcome as Gweld might have hoped for, but Serrit is letting him into her room, and isn't trying to hide their relationship from the other Vipers.

And it's not like they _don't talk_ when they're together, but this is the first time they've ever had what _feels_ like a social visit, not just chatting after sex. Serrit doesn't have cups, so they pass the bottle back and forth, but they wind up sitting in her room and _conversing,_ for nearly an hour, with sex not even in the air. Mostly on the topic of “So, this warlord business, pretty crazy, huh?”

Serrit is almost completely indifferent to the outcome; she'll go along with it if the Vipers choose to, but doesn't actually care whether humans get added to the list of monsters they kill. Gweld tries to argue for it on a moral level, but Serrit just sort of shrugs and is like, Save your chivalry for the Griffins.

Gweld: It also means you'd get to see me more often.

Serrit: [smirks] I thought you were trying to sell me on this?

Gweld: _Rude._

They finish off the bottle, and then end up in bed, but somehow it has a very different character from the times they hooked up before—they're doing this at _home_ (Gweld's home, anyway); their people will _know_ about the relationship; they had a conversation beforehand like they're proper friends, not just fuck buddies.

I'm not sure how their relationship would change with having Serrit in Kaer Morhen; Serrit still seems to treat/view it as no different than it was before, but just by virtue of seeing each other so much more often, and having to explain/defend the relationship to their respective groups, it's going to solidify in certain ways.

And I _really_ enjoy the idea of the Vipers just hating the _fuck_ out of Serrit's Wolf boyfriend. XD Serrit's pretty indifferent to the hostility there—at one point (prolly at dinner that same evening, when she shows up with Gweld's scent _all over her_ ) somebody's like “So when did you start sleeping with a godsdamned WOLF?”

Serrit: Mm. Fifteen years ago? [shrug] He fucks like a draft horse.

Other Vipers: …well okay then. o_o

She doesn't rise to provocation or teasing on the subject, so it just becomes like—aight, I guess Serrit and the Wolf is a thing.

The Wolves, meanwhile, have no beef with Serrit, they're just—by and large— _mystified_ at how that managed to happen. They're looking at Gweld in disbelief, like, _What the fuck possessed you to try to stick your dick in a_ _**VIPER??** _

Gweld: ...honestly, I'm not sure how it happened either.

Their relationship is also kind of baffling in that Serrit is so abrasive and standoffish, and Gweld is—by witcher standards—practically a golden retriever puppy, so they're an odd couple in that way too.

Gweld puts in the request with Eskel that he'd like to be partnered with Serrit for patrols—but she doesn't do the same, so nothing comes of it. I think it genuinely doesn't occur to her to try to spend more time with Gweld, beyond the fact that they're now hooking up at least once a week.

*

She does have her first occasion to get _jealous_ of Gweld though.

One evening after supper or whatever, Gweld's chatting with one of the female Cat witchers and they're both enjoying the conversation, and they are conscious of finding each other attractive (Gweld's not flirting with intent, though it had occurred to him)--

When Serrit suddenly lands a hand on back and goes, “I need to talk to you” in her flat-affect way, and he lets himself be unceremoniously hauled out of the conversation and back to his room (perhaps the first time they've gone to his room instead of hers?). And as soon as the door closes behind them, Serrit is shoving him against the wall and kissing him _hard,_ hands going straight to pull his clothes off, then shoves him onto the bed and climbs on top of him.

(By now Gweld has caught on to the fact that this is about asserting her claim on him, and he's _delighted_ that Serrit is so possessive of his affections.)

There's not any real finesse to what they're doing, just kissing and Serrit grinding against his stomach, and he breaks off to say—

Gweld: Do you want to come on me?

Serrit: No.

Gweld: [through the kissing and the grinding] You sure? You could put your scent all over me, claim me and mark me up, send me back out there smelling like you, so everyone would know I'm taken, they'd know to keep their hands off me because I'm _yours—_

Serrit: -- _fuck_.

It's inspiring enough that Serrit does wind up doing exactly that, gets his dick out and jerks off all over Gweld's stomach, which Gweld happily scoops up and slathers over his own dick to finish jerking himself off. [Semen-as-lube works, if you're _very_ quick about it, before it turns into glue. Let's assume Gweld was so hella turned-on by this that it took him ten hot seconds to come after Serrit did.]

But as soon as it's over, the elephant in the room is looming, re: what brought this on. Serrit's not saying anything, just avoiding Gweld's eyes and cleaning himself up and buttoning his pants again.

Gweld: [deciding to take the bull by the horns] You know I wasn't actually intending to go to bed with her, right?

Serrit: [just gives a shrug and doesn't look at him]

Gweld: [I forgot how I was going to phrase this, but he mentions—in the spirit of honesty and full disclosure—that he has fucked a number of other Wolves in the past, but he's not doing that either anymore—]

Serrit: [bursts out] _I don't give a fuck if you get off with your brothers._ [Visibly agitated, breathing hard] Just—no women. Please.

And Serrit is _never_ this vulnerable with his emotions—that he's actually admitting this upsets him, and asking for something from Gweld.

Serrit: --fuck it, never mind. [on his feet and heading for the door] You can fuck whoever you want—

Gweld: Serrit! [manages to loop an arm around his waist and hold him in place, presses his face to the back of Serrit's neck.] No women. I promise. No anybody, just you.

Serrit: ...

Serrit: .......did you just get cum on the back of my shirt?

Gweld: ...might have. >_>

[Which of course means that Serrit comes out of this wearing one of Gweld's shirts. ;D]

*

At some point Serrit does try to feel Gweld out on his bisexuality, asks whether he prefers sleeping with men or with women. (Which is always a _painful_ anxiety for people transitioning with a partner, the worry of _Will you still want me if I change/Would you love me if you knew who I really was)_

Gweld thinks it over for a minute (he's never bothered to analyze his sexuality before), and concludes that he doesn't really have a preference. He can rank individual partners by who he's liked more, but their gender isn't a terribly relevant factor. (And, of course, Serrit is top of his list.)

Mm, says Serrit, and then neither explains why she wanted to know that, or reciprocates with information about her own sexual preferences.

*

It gnaws at Serrit though—the thought of Gweld having sex with women, vs. Gweld having sex with Serrit, and what the difference is—and one day, after they've fucked, he asks out of the blue:

Serrit: Are you different with women.

Gweld: [blinks] You mean in bed?

Serrit: [nods]

Gweld: Uhm. [a little baffled at how to answer this] Yes? But... that's because the only women I've ever been with were prostitutes—humans. I have to be a lot more careful not to hurt them by accident, and to try not to frighten them.

(Serrit finds the idea of anyone being afraid of _Gweld_ completely ridiculous. Like, ffs, are these basic bitches afraid of _puppies_ too?)

Serrit: Careful how.

[And Gweld is feeling his way through this conversation like a _minefield,_ because he knows full well that him-sleeping-with-women is a touchy subject and he has no idea what might upset Serrit to hear. But, well—Serrit _asked,_ so.]

Gweld: Well, when I come in I usually try to strike up a conversation. Silence makes people nervous, so I'll pay her a compliment—on the establishment, or on something that's beautiful about her.

[Serrit is listening to this with intense concentration, but giving no indication of how he's feeling.]

Serrit: And then.

Gweld: I'd ask if I can kiss her. Some prostitutes won't, but if they do, it helps convince them that my desires are... normal.

Serrit: [rolls his eyes, impatient with the completely-unnecessary coddling that this hypothetical prostitute is getting] Pretend you're with a woman who's _not_ afraid of you.

Gweld: [amused, because he always finds annoyed-Serrit terribly endearing] Well, I'd still want to kiss her.

[Serrit shifts closer, then reaches out and closes Gweld's eyes. Gweld goes along with it, and a moment later, feels Serrit lean in and press their lips together in a kiss.]

Serrit: [quietly] And then?

Gweld is aware that they are playing a dangerous game; they are flirting with a subject that has made Serrit _break and run_ before, and he has no idea why Serrit's doing this, or what his breaking point would be this time.

 _But_ Gweld is also eternally obliging, and so at Serrit's prompting, he keeps his eyes closed and talks them through a scenario in which he fucks some hypothetical woman, with Serrit matching the choreography as best he can with the body he has. And it's nothing they haven't done before, Serrit riding Gweld's dick (because in Gweld's history with women, he always, _always_ puts himself on bottom to make them feel less threatened), but the language Gweld's using in his narration/dirty-talk is for a female body, and _her_ slips into _your_ about halfway through.

(Also, Serrit winds up stripping entirely naked for this, which _works_ this time because Gweld can't _see_ her, and he's very deliberately not touching any body parts that would disrupt the scene.)

They climax, and then they're kissing as they come down from orgasm.

Gweld: Can I open my eyes now?

Serrit: Not yet. [pause] And afterward? Do you fall asleep on her?

Gweld: [kisses him] If she'll let me. _[very_ obvious subtext: If _you'll_ let me.]

He can't see Serrit's expression, obviously, but after a moment Serrit does tuck himself up against Gweld's chest and stay there. Gweld conks out, and Serrit is gone when he wakes up, which is what he'd expected. The real marvel is that she stayed for any length of time at all.

And while from a reader perspective, it may seem like that should have made it _blindingly obvious_ what was going on—seriously, “close your eyes and pretend I'm a woman while you fuck me,” how else do you interpret that??--but this is not a society where transitioning is a widely-known phenomenon, and so Gweld comes up with his own theories for it.

He thinks that maybe it was easier for Serrit to... experiment, with intimacy, when he was doing it as someone other than himself. That Serrit can't bring himself to let Gweld lavish _him_ with affection and tenderness, but he can play the role in a scenario in which Gweld lavishes tenderness on _someone else._

Or maybe, given that his recent bout of jealousy wound up making all other women off-limits to Gweld, it's an apology, or a compromise of sorts—that he's trying to give Gweld the experience (of having sex with women) that he's not allowed to get from other people anymore.

 _Or maybe_ it was something else entirely. Gweld never presumes to think that he knows the _why_ behind what Serrit does.

(Although this may inspire him to break out a blindfold in bed one day and offer to let Serrit use it on him—since she was palpably more comfortable taking clothes off with Gweld when he had his eyes closed.

Serrit: Wot. [because she is always _appalled_ when Gweld (stupidly, in her opinion) chooses to make himself so vulnerable]

Gweld: [good-natured eye roll] Serrit, you've kept me around this long, I hardly think you're going to shiv me now.)

*

And then Serrit's gender issues—unbeknownst to Gweld—reach their breaking point. When she realizes that what she wants might actually be _possible,_ and can't keep from fixating on the idea. That some humans just _do._ And then realizing that sorcery could _do it even better,_ and they have some of the best sorceresses in the world right there at hand.

I expect she'd been withdrawing from everyone for a while, though it was less noticeable to the other Vipers, since she's already so taciturn. But she also gets distant with Gweld—initially, just being more reserved than usual when they have sex, but then it turns into avoiding him, and then outright refusing him. One evening he knocks on her door, and she just doesn't answer, even though they both know that he _knows_ she's in there. And he's hurt, and worried, and bewildered, doesn't understand what's going on, but eventually has no choice but to just leave.

And then Serrit talks with Yennefer and it's happening TOMORROW. Which is exhilarating and terrifying, and Serrit has no idea if this is even going to work (it's a lot of pain, which means it's probably dangerous, possibly fatal), what's going to happen if she just shows up as a woman tomorrow and how people are going to react—

And she doesn't know if this _thing_ she has with Gweld is going to survive it. Whether he'll want to afterward; whether she will.

So that evening after dinner she goes up to Gweld's room (again, _very_ rare for her to take the initiative to enter his space) and initiates sex. She brushes off his attempts to talk, but unlike usual, she doesn't try to hold back the emotions she's having, and it really is _love-making_ for the first time. She kisses him gently, lets him touch slowly. She gets fully naked again—

Gweld: You don't have to...

Serrit: I know.

—which is still kind of awkward, for the unfamiliarity of it if nothing else, but she's in a different headspace from before so it's not fucking her up. Before, she was trying to force herself to enjoy or at least _tolerate_ having her dysphoric body seen and touched—this time, with the promise of relief just over the horizon, with the knowledge that she's **not** going to be stuck with this forever, she finds that she can just let it be what it is.

So they have a session of intense, very gentle, very _thorough_ love-making (Serrit even guides Gweld's hand to her dick and lets him touch), which means Gweld knows _full fucking well_ that something isn't right. When they're finished, and Serrit's tucked up peaceably under his chin—

Gweld: [quietly] You're breaking things off with me, aren't you.

Serrit: …no?

Gweld: [sighs] You avoid me for weeks, and then you show up at my door and offer me everything you know I've wanted, everything you were never willing to give me before. I know what goodbye looks like, Serrit.

[Serrit is silent. Because he's not wrong; even if they do have a relationship after her transformation, this _is_ a goodbye to whatever they had up to this point.]

Gweld: [sighs again, kisses her forehead] If you're truly done with me, then I'll let you go, and wish you only the best. But, I want you to know...

[He shifts so they're laying eye-to-eye, then draws her hand to his lips and kisses her fingertips.]

Gweld: I love you, Serrit.

[And Serrit looks like she's about to cry, her emotions a tangled mix of anger and grief and longing]

Serrit: ...You don't _know_ me.

[Which cuts a little, no lie.]

Gweld: [acknowledges] Not as well as I'd like to, no. You—you know what you've always felt like to me?

[Serrit waits]

Gweld: You're like a storm in a bottle. [strokes her cheek, because he's going to keep touching for as long as he's allowed to] Glass on the outside—smooth, impervious, keeping everything so contained, never letting anything slip out. But inside there's just... so much feeling in you. I can sense it, always raging right below the surface. And you're right, I have no idea what you're fighting in there, but I'd help you if I could. If you'd let me.

Serrit: [swallows] This isn't something you can help.

[Which is still significant for being the first time she's acknowledged, even tacitly, that there is _something_ she's been keeping from him.]

Gweld: Maybe not. But I'd listen.

Serrit is nearly shaking with emotion, with everything she's keeping bundled up, but she's not going to explain herself to him, not now, and just shakes her head. Which to Gweld feels like the death knell on his last hopes—that he put his cards on the table, laid his feelings bare, and she's still choosing to stay on her side of the divide and keep her secrets.

Serrit disentangles from him and starts getting dressed, because she's on the verge of crying and needs the metaphorical armor.

Serrit: I don't—I don't want things to end between us.

[Which, Gweld notes, is not the same as _I am not ending things with you_.]

Serrit: It's just—some things are going to change, and I don't know if—

She breaks off with a vague wave, agitated and frustrated, but that suddenly sounds _very ominous_ to Gweld, that something is about to happen, that has Serrit very upset, and she _won't tell him what it is._

Gweld: [carefully] Serrit... what's going on?

Serrit: [very tired now] Look, there's just something I have to do. We'll talk again when it's done.

Gweld: [pained] Serrit...

[She takes his face and kisses him, and he kisses back—a very long, very deep kiss that is unmistakably a goodbye.]

Serrit: Goodbye, Gweld.

[which all feels _horribly_ final, and after she's gone, Gweld opts to get blackout drunk and let himself mourn the end of that relationship.]

*

And then Serrit is _not at breakfast_ the next day, and not at lunch, and Gweld is antsy and on-edge waiting for some kind of disaster to come down, but no one seems to be aware of anything amiss. Eventually he steels himself for Viper hostility and goes over to talk to their table.

Gweld: Where's Serrit?

Vipers: Wot. Fuck off, Wolf.

Gweld: He wasn't at breakfast either, where is he? Did he go somewhere? Is he injured?

[Which is when the Vipers exchange some looks like, Oh yeah, now that you mention it he has been gone all day, huh, I wonder what that's about.]

Gweld: [suddenly furious] Oh, fuck _all_ of you, you didn't even notice!

Viper: [sneers at him] Serrit's a big boy, he can take care of himself, and he doesn't have to ask your permission to skip a meal or two. [or something to that effect]

Gweld: [very angry now] And it doesn't worry you when he just ups and vanishes after acting weird for _weeks?_ Or did you not notice that either?

Which nobody at the Viper table wants to admit to (and also from their POV, Serrit hasn't been acting _so_ weird...?), but Gweld's also palpably worried, beneath the anger, and it's making them uneasy, that maybe he's right and there _is_ something to be worried about...?

And that's when Gweld notices that one person at the table smells different—Zofia, who's not hostile or anxious, but is very carefully not saying anything.

Gweld: You. You know what's going on.

Zofia: [levelly] I do. But if Serrit hasn't told you, then I'm not going to either. [glances at the rest of the Viper table.] And that goes for all of you.

Gweld: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE—

[Cue Vipers immediately leaping to their feet in Zofia's defense, and probably Eskel converging on the scene too, to deescalate whatever's going on here before it ends with Gweld fighting the Vipers in earnest. Because the atmosphere here is _not_ a friendly brawl, there's about to be bloodshed.]

Eskel: What's the problem here?

Viper: That this guy won't fuck off and mind his own business.

Gweld: [to Zofia, desperate] Just—tell me he's alright. [And he really, _really_ wishes he could have some privacy for this conversation, but there's no way the Vipers are going to let him alone with her, so--] Look, the way he was talking, it sounded like he was going to do something to hurt himself.

Zofia: [reluctantly, torn on how to answer that] Not... the way you're thinking.

[Which _entirely_ fails to reassure.]

Eskel: Who are we talking about?

Gweld: Serrit. Do you know where he is?

But Eskel doesn't know either; he hadn't remarked on Serrit's absence as a reason for worry until now. His presence does manage to defuse the situation though, since it's not as if haranguing the Vipers any further will get Gweld anything, and neither side is going to keep provoking the other in front of the Wolf's right hand. So he shakes off Eskel and just leaves to go worry by himself.

And then of course Serrit reappears at dinner, as taciturn and not-forthcoming as ever, and the Vipers are just kinda like “...huh.”

Gweld sees her from across the hall and realizes she's back, but she's facing away from him, so he doesn't notice the change—just remarks on the oddity that her hair is loose, because she never lets it down except when they're in bed.

Which is why it gives him a double-take when she comes over to the Wolf table (something she's never done before) and he _does_ see the change. It's vividly, unmistakably still _Serrit_ , the same and yet clearly female now, and he can't even pinpoint what changed to achieve that effect.

Gweld: It suits you.

And Serrit, satisfied with that, hmphs and leaves again.

Gweld finds her the next day when she's in the practice yard training with some of the female witchers, offers to spar. She tells him to fuck off and come back in a week, because she's still re-learning her center of balance.

So he obliges, and tries his luck again a week later. (She has not sought him out since the transformation, and Gweld—still uncertain of what their relationship is now—has given her space.) They spar and have a good time—not talking much, but it's a fun workout, and establishes that Serrit is no less capable as a lady-witcher than she was as a dude-witcher. And, yeah, indulging in that kind of physicality with Serrit gives Gweld's libido some ideas, and after they're done sparring, he pulls her aside and asks if he can come to her room that night.

Serrit: [considers it] Yes.

[Gweld, thinking, FUK YEAH—]

Serrit: ...If you can pin me.

Which doesn't sound too hard, since Gweld is considerably larger, always has been, and Wolves tend to be better at wrestling than Vipers. So they toss their swords aside and start circling, and Gweld makes a grab that takes Serrit down, looks like an easy win when all of a sudden—

Gweld: OW, MOTHERFUCK.

Because she just stabbed him through the hand or something—which, y'know, from a Viper that's practically a love bite, but it gave her the opportunity to spring back and away.

Gweld: Alright, so _that's_ how we're playing this.

And as the match continues, it becomes clear that he _can't_ pin her. She's fighting entirely defensively, but will resort to stabbing if she needs to; he's not stabbing back, but he can't manage to get a grip on her.

Gweld: [slightly irked] ...If you didn't want to, you could have just _said_ _no._

Serrit: [shrugs]

I expect they've drawn a crowd by this point, which suits Serrit's purposes just fine, since it's publicly demonstrating that she should still be taken seriously. Eventually they go in for a grapple, and Serrit hooks a foot around his ankle and pulls, such that they both tumble over with Gweld landing on top, and she refrains from stabbing him this time.

Serrit: :)

Gweld: …well okay then.

*

(I feel like Serrit would have trouble deciding what to wear that evening—like, does she dress in her witcher usual? Does she wear a dress? Something _sexy,_ because that's what women allegedly do when their lover is coming over? What if it turns out that Gweld still thinks of her as a man and thinks she's ridiculous in women's clothes?

(Well, _fuck him_ if he does, but still—)

She winds up deciding to rip the bandaid off in one go, and picks a dress that's flattering (and low cut) though not especially ornate, and a dressing gown over it because Kaer Morhen is cold. She can't tell if she's more sensitive to the cold since her transformation, but she thinks she might be.)

Gweld shows up with wine and glasses in hand, but kicks it off with “I think we need to talk first” and Serrit can acknowledge that that's true, even though she'd rather not. He pours them both wine and they sip in silence for a few minutes.

Gweld: How long have you known that—this is what you wanted?

Serrit: Longer than I've known you.

Gweld: And you just... lived with it? Ignored it?

Serrit: [shrugs] What else was I supposed to do? I never knew that something like this [gestures at self] was even possible.

Gweld: It just seems like—I don't know. It was still making you unhappy, that whole time.

Serrit: We're witchers, Gweld. None of us are strangers to not getting the life we may have wanted.

And Gweld is a good egg, so he's not weirded out by it, and he wholeheartedly believes Serrit's womanhood, not least because he can _feel_ the difference in her since her transformation—that edge of brittle unhappiness that's been a part of Serrit for as long as he's known her is finally gone. Even sitting there in her dressing gown and embroidered slippers, the kind of clothes that he would never have _imagined_ Serrit wearing before, she feels more natural, more relaxed than she ever has before.

And he understands why she kept it a secret, he's not _angry,_ but it still hurts a bit—because he wanted to be close to her, for her to let him in, and instead she was holding this massive part of herself away from him the whole time.

Gweld: [at last] I wish you'd told me. I mean, I get it—we were never close, not like that. We weren't the kind of friends who confided in each other.

Serrit: It wasn't just you. I didn't tell _anyone._

Gweld: Except Zofia?

Serrit: [hesitates] She had a friend who was... like me, except going the other way. And he didn't even have a sorceress to magically give him a new body, he just decided, 'fuck it, I'm going to live how I want to.' It was the first time I realized people could just _do_ that. And she hadn't seemed to think it was all that weird, so I kind of... tried out her opinion on what she'd make of _me_ doing that.

[Which Gweld can see the logic in; nothing in their acquaintance had ever given Serrit reason to believe that Gweld would react as well.]

Serrit: And it was... easier to tell her, because I didn't know her. I didn't care what she thought of me, so it didn't matter as much how she reacted. If she turned out to be an asshole about it, well, no big loss, right?

[btw I feel like this is very much a past-tense thing, and that Zofia and Serrit have actually gotten a lot closer since Serrit confided in her.]

Serrit: But you... you mattered more. [avoiding eye contact] I didn't want to know what you'd say, if you didn't take it well. Or if you'd laugh at me for it.

[GROWTH! Serrit allowing herself to be vulnerable!]

Gweld: I... hope I've been taking it well? And... not being an asshole about it?

[Poor boy just has no idea what's the proper and respectful way to respond to this, really. It's not something there's an etiquette for, in witcher-land.]

Serrit: [wry smile] You're fine. If you'd fucked it up, you would know, because I would have stabbed you a lot more.

[Which does kind of shift the conversational awareness back to sex, because Gweld's efforts to get laid were what got him (slightly) stabbed earlier.]

Gweld: You know you don't... have to keep sleeping with me if you don't want to anymore. You don't owe me anything, just because we were together before.

Serrit: I know.

Gweld: And you—well, the last time we were together was pretty firmly a goodbye.

Serrit: I wasn't... I didn't know what was going to happen afterwards. Maybe I wouldn't even survive it, and if I did... who knows. I didn't know if you would still want me. If you'd be angry at me for lying to you. Maybe _I_ wouldn't want this anymore. But whatever happened, it wasn't going to be the same, and you deserved... a goodbye, I guess. In case that was the end.

Gweld: I don't want that to be the end.

[He puts his glass down and leans forward in his chair to take Serrit's hands in his.]

Gweld: You're still _you,_ Serrit. I still love you, I still want you. If that's what _you_ want.

Serrit: I... still want you too.

Which is as good a time as any to hop into bed. Gweld draws her to her feet, and—telegraphing his movements—leans in to give her a careful kiss. They're both a little tentative here, despite how many countless times they've fucked before, but they warm up to it. Kissing, hands in hair, until Gweld slides his fingers under the collar of her dressing gown and is like, May I?

Serrit is still unfamiliar with her own nudity, but with the dysphoria gone, it's the same as what everyone else feels, a self-consciousness that eases with experience and increased confidence. There are no more parts of her body where she objects to being touched, and yeah, Gweld is just as good at pleasuring female bodies as he was at pleasuring male bodies. It's a Good Time.

Afterward:

Gweld: So does that mean _both_ your first times were with me?

Serrit: ...don't get cocky.

And then Gweld starts to fall asleep and Serrit pokes him.

Serrit: Hey. Wake up. You're not falling asleep here.

Gweld: What? Even now??

Serrit: What do you mean, 'even now'?

Gweld: I thought you'd gotten over that with your whole— [gestures at Serrit] —thing!

[Then he starts laughing, to which Serrit is confused, and vexed at being confused.]

Gweld: Oh, man. [Gets up and starts pulling his clothes back on, still in good humor.] You know, I thought this explained everything, but now I'm realizing that you are just deeply, fundamentally weird. [Drops a kiss on Serrit's head] And I love you for it. Goodnight, Serrit.

*

And now Serrit is not bottling everything up quite so much but is still a strange and prickly human being, and Gweld delights in getting to learn how much of that was the gender dysphoria thing, and how much of that is just Serrit being a fuckin' weirdo. The Vipers still wish Serrit would let them murder Gweld, and the Wolves are still shaking their heads at _Gweld and his apparent death-wish_ with his Viper girlfriend, but both sides are resigned to it by now.

  
  


THE END


End file.
